by Kate Curtis
My experience of anger as a child, was that it frightened me. I grew up in a family where there was alot of tension amongst its members. There was a deep pain running through my family line. My mother was deeply wounded and we carried her wound. I experienced the confusion of not knowing whether it was ok to speak out. Others spoke out before I got a chance. So I learned to hold back what I needed to say or ask for. If I spoke out it came with a rush of energy, which usually was met with like energy back to me, fast a furious, and unsafe. Angry. I learned to hold back before asking what I needed. I witnessed alot of loud words spoken. It made me very unsure of my own voice. It made me unsure of my own wisdom. I had learned from an early age to keep myself safe. It took its tole on my energy system. Years of having my nervous system charged had a negative effect on my nervous system. It became a habit for my system to release adrenalin at an ongoing basis, at a low key level. I became wired to respond quickly and sharply to stress.
Through a lifetime, so it seems, of trying to heal and reconfigure my reponsiveness to situations, people, and to the varying experiences of my life I have gained insight about this anger. For me it was important once I realised that I held a deep hidden charge of anger within me that I get to the root of what this was. Like reaching inside to uncover an abscess. Healing only occurs from the inside out. Wounds fester and reoccur unless healed at the core. I have been able to discover what this is, but for some it is not always possible. There is a way of reconfiguring our learned responsiveness to stressfull or traumatic situations, without going the whole way inside. Spontaneous healing can take place.
“Anger is one of the most powerful energy forces we experience. It can bully or intimidate us, energize or paralyse us. Yet from a psychic perspective anger is just another energy form. Whether anger is destructive, protective, or a force for positive change depends upon the past conditioning or intention of the individual.” This is a quote from Walter Makichen, spiritual teacher and clairvoyant healer.
According to Walter, anger is an energy force which defines ourselves as to who we are. It makes our boundary, whether open or barbed fenced, it expresses our boundaries and identity. When creative energy is simply blocked by anger its limits this expression.
Once the energy is unblocked, and healthy responsiveness learned, the anger energy can be put to good use. It gets things done. It is what great speakers use when trying to effect change. How marithon and football matches are won. It is the energy which was used largely at the beginning of civilization to create societies. It is the body’s natural response to fright. It causes us to take flight or to fight. If it continues to be a response once the danger is over it causes problems.
In Chinese philosophy the concept of Yin and Yang describes the energy of anger and non anger as opposite forces, which are interactive and interchangeable. The yang force equates to movement, dance, active energy, anger energy, fire and sunlight. The yin energy equates to stillness, slow movement, calm energy, water and moonlight. If there is too much of one it comsumes the other. There is always a balance trying to be achieved. This is used to describe what is in our nature, and also how our internal organ system works, as well as nature itself.
Fear plays a hugh part in fuelling our anger and attracting anger in others.
Most people at first when it is suggested that they might be operating out of fear, rather than anger, cannot easily see how this can be. Likewise they may appear emotional, tearful and fearful or calm on the outside, but within lies a rage. Tears for women and for some men, is a safer way to express anger.
It is an interesting phenomena, that when taking a pulse diagnosis, (within the acupuncture system of healing,) of a client who, may appear as a calm and timid person, presents a pulse which indicates that their liver is full of firey energy, what we call wirey pulse. Without actually needing to explain at the time what is needed, I would treat their liver energy to calm it and sooth it thus calming the nervous system. and releasing some of the pressure from the hot and active liver. The next visit they might present with a totally different pulse. It might be weaker and deficient of energy at the kidney position indicating the real situation which is that they are holding fear in their kidneys.
What is so beautiful about the holistic approach to diagnoses is that we can embrace the concepts of how each organ is affected by and can store an emotion. Eg Fear held in the kidneys, and anger in the liver. Saddness and grief in the lungs. Unforgivingness in the heart.
Fear stimulates Anger to rise up. ( Easily explained also using again the Chinese model of diagnoses, when Yin and Yang become unbalanced resulting in the Fire of the Liver not being reduced by the Water of the kidneys. Fear causing a deficiency of energy in the Kidney region, where the lifeforce energy is stored.)
Fear that something vital is going to be taken away. Fear from the experience of loss, or being alone. Fear of the experience of being unloved.
Shock arises out of a fearful situation and can leave our energy system empty and depleted, especially in the 1st chakra. The anger rises up out of the 1st chakra. This energy is as strong as was used to protect against attack by wild animals or murderers. It comes because our experience of the world is either me or you. If someone goes to take something from us that is valuable to me, ie father who constantly promises something and does not do it to the child, so taking away childs dream, they continue to live in the 1st chakra basic needs world, the being fed and nourished centre.; basic identity chakra. Repitition of experiences of being alone brings out angry energy. This may be outward, or it may be internalized as in the case of the person with the hidden pulse.
When anger is outward there is at least some valve button being released. There is less imploding within the internal body. However this situation is not easy. It upsets people, and causes unsafety within the environment. When it is internalized it causes huge imploding and continual shock waves through the nervous system and chakra centres. A child who has witnessed alot of screaming and shouting will carry the look of a child who has been physically beaten. They will be on the alert at all times. They will have learned that the only way to be safe in the world is to be constantly vidulent and watchful. Some will be silent, some will be reactive.
Walter Makichen in one of his seminars regarding this subject, coined the expressions – ‘Angry Warrior’ which he used to describe those who are very outwardly angry and belligerent, and ‘ Compassionate warrior’ , which he calls those who have learned to use their angry energy for good, who have developed a new imprint and who are able to use it as creative energy.
Before we learn how to transform this angry warrior energy, a high torrent of energy blasts through causing different problems in different centres, when happening regularly over a period of time.
Largely the 1st 3rd 4th and 5th chakras are affected.
1st chakra – affects the Kidneys and the adrenal glands. It is the energy centre associated with survival and safety and controls the energies of flight or flight.- imbalance may result in bedwetting into adulthood , frequency of unination, nocturia (urination at night time),low back pain, low libido, sexual problems, infertility. ovarian cysts/tumours.
3rd chakra – effects the Liver and digestion. It is the energy centre most associated with the emotional body. It is also the centre for psychic intuition. Inbalance may result in – abdominal cramps, butterflies in the abdomen, bloating, burping, flatulence, constipation/diarrhoea. duodenal ulcers. gallstones, hepatitis allergies, menstrual problems. pms, bowel tumours.
4th chakra – affecting the lungs, and heart and thymus gland. It is the energy centre which governs the heart mind, and is the connecting chakra between upper and lower body. Inbalances result in – palpitations, panic attacks, insomnia, anxiety, asthma ,lung tumours, abscesses, breast cysts, tumours.
5th chakra – affecting the throat. thyroid problems. This is the energy centre which demands to be recognised and heard. It is the centre for psychic clairsenscience. Imbalance in this centre may result in cysts on the vocal cords, tumours. sore neck, sore jaw, ear problems. chronic phlegm and sinusitis, inability to speak easily of things which are important to a person, or of their needs.
We might ask ‘what was taken from me to warrent this angry energy?’.
If the origional pain was abandonment, then repetition of experience of being alone brings out this anger energy. Sometimes it is difficult to uncover the root, as we may not be aware or have knowledge of an origional imprint.
Having something taken from me, whereby no voice is possible, loss of power in situations such as sexual abuse/rape, the origional pain if in any way repeated can cause anger energy to be triggered. Again this may be overtly or internally triggered.
For many, due to there being a judgement as a young child of being overtly angry not being an option, the energy gets blocked in different energy centres. Unspoken words/ unspoken screams. Secrets swallowed, building up huge charge of energy which grows and festers – What the acupuncturists and chinese herbal practitioners call liver qi stagnation. If unsolved it causes the above from the imploding of such energy.
If someone says to you that ‘youve got to get rid of your anger’ this means someone will take something from you and then in turn this causes anger.
It is alright to be angry, but not 24 hours of the day, and not in the way that it causes such blasting through the system. Remember to have compassion for yourself while healing this.
How to free this up?
–Become conscious and aware of the possibility of the angry warrior, whereby anger is always just under the surface.
–Become friends with this energy, stop judging it, and embrace it with as high regard as you would have your more positive attributes. Embrace the idea that anger is creative energy.
–Find a witness, be it a therapist, a herbalist, acupuncturist, dance therapist yoga teacher, or workshop facilitator, or a friend. Whilst uncovering the core pain or the origional fear it is important to have a witness. In a way it is like having a traumatic experience as a child, such as falling off the swing, and when we run to an adult, for comfort and when we receive it fully, that episode is healed. If however we run to seek comfort and there is nobody there, it becomes a traumatic imprint. To heal this it is necessary to bear witness, to create safety and comfort and a new encoding put in place.
–Find a safe setting to let go of the pain or trauma as it arises. Some people prefer to heal quietly using methods of meditation to assist in the opening.
Meditation is a wonderful way of getting to know yourself. To allow softly the inner sanctionary of our minds to become calmer. For me when I meditated during the first few years, I shed many tears. I was unaware until later that it was the tears of my soul as I became reaquainted with myself, and as I released my inner anxieties. My tears we also my anger, so deeply was it ingrained within me not to express anger. The Buddist and Daoist teachings involve using visualisation techniques such as the Dissolving Method of Meditation.
–Holotropic Breathwork or other methods of breathwork are wonderful ways of accessing non-ordinary or altered states of consciousness, in order to access the parts of our body and mind which have been so blocked off that we are totally unaware of them. We can be so totally unaware of our source of fear because in order to protect ourselves we had to create such numbing of our body so as not to feel the pain. In order to release the blocked energy which prevents our creative energy, breathwork is a powerful forum for expression.
During the time spent in the non-ordinary state of consciousness, deep healing and spontaneous transformation can occur. The inner healer takes over. Our soul is able to reconfigure a new way of being. For some it is the first time they have been able to fully express with their voice, without it being repressed. Blocks within the chakra system can be released. Creative energy starts to flow.
–Herbal Medicine and homeopathy.
There are certain herbs and homeopathic remedies which can assist in helping to release old patterns of behaviour.
It is sensible to consult with a herbalist or homeopath when trying to change rather than choose oneself at the health food stores. The practitioner can be the witness you will need to release the origional imprint.